I hit the month before my 16 year AA anniversary and I started feeling all sorts of uneasiness. Resentment, pain, hurt feelings, anger that I can’t drink and I was thinking what is going on this doesn’t feel good I wish I could just drink. If I back way up, the year has not been my best, the past 2 years I have been restless. Not sleeping well, tried many meds they made me worse. I realized exercise is better for me for regular sleep.
I finally got back to me mid year around February then ill parents and trying to do it all snuck up on me. I will say I finally learned how to speak my truth even though it has taken me 30 yrs I tell people how I feel even if they don’t like it or agree. My anxiety has me often thinking things are different than they are and trying to get in peoples heads to figure out what they are thinking. I am a sensitive soul which makes communicating often exhausting. I just want to talk things out and move on.
So I realized I’m in a scarey place so I changed some things. Realized I’m lonely sitting at home all day isn’t the best for me. I need human interaction. So I have been hitting more meetings, reaching out more to others, applying for a few pt jobs. Digging into some self discovery and figuring out where I fit at this stage in my life.
This link is an excellent u tube video on emotional sobriety
So at different phases in life our emotions can divert to the old negative and patterns and self destructive behaviors unless we catch them. So re-read my emotional sobriety book started looking for other service positions that fill me up not make me more resentful. Ultimately my relationship with God and myself have to be right or nothing else will be.