Sometimes it takes me loosing my voice to realize I am not taking care of myself. For half of my life I was not taking care of myself then I got sober and started paying attention to how and what I ate, how much sleep I got, how much money I spent, how I treated people. Once a year for the past 3 years I loose my voice I get a sort of cold virus that strains my vocal cords and I have to give up all controls. This is not easy for an alcoholic we usually like to keep everything in order and cannot handle help or when we do ask for help sometimes it isn’t comfortable for us because we always thought we had to do everything solo. Asking for help made you weak, showing your feelings made you different. Well today I had to get out a pen and paper to communicate at all with my spouse finally I just wrote forget it, “you handle the girls. ”
This is big because he is used to me managing a lot of the household involving them and I am not used to letting go. So surrender comes in many forms and once you put down the drink it is time to ask for help trust me you are going to need it and the people in AA have been some of the kindest most wonderful people I have ever met.
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