For most of my life I ran from discomfort, people, places and things and the only way to shut off my mind was to drink. Feelings are unpredictable, messy, confusing and quite honestly most of us would rather not have to deal with them so the non problem drinkers get to drink. People in recovery meaning those choosing to live a different way of life have to feel those feelings….uuuggghhh! I remember crying a lot my first year and people just patting me on the back and saying it will get better. And one day it did. In sobriety I still have to process my feelings. I can see a facebook post that hits me wrong and boom am anxious or angry or wanting to tech cleanse immediately. Ha and what is it that often offends or hurts our feelings? Feeling left out of the circle, people having differences of opinion, people judging us or worse yet us judging ourselves. Sometimes things I read trigger a past memory, trauma or feeling and I have a physical response.
The bottom line is feelings are important. They warn us of danger, help us get close to people, tell us when we need to grow up but if you are constantly reacting due to your feelings sooner or later a change will need to be made otherwise you will feel like that same person reacting in the same way to anything and everything in the world. So now I try to pause and take a deep breath before I respond or better yet pray.
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