When I was younger I didn’t really comprehend the word freedom; bad memories, past hurts, growing up with a lot of fighting in the house and stressful traumatic events in our family, and a slew of other things kept me in bondage. I chained myself to alcohol, it gave me confidence-well temporarily, it numbed the pain and sadness and made life capable of trudging thru.
Today’s reading in the Daily reflections is:
“We are going to know a new freedom…
Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from fear-fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of rejection, of failure. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to-freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a “new” freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free!”
Today I now have freedom to go places I wish to go, to try new things, to set boundaries if needed, to stay home in my jammmies all weekend if that’s what I need. To speak up for myself, to say no when I need to, to have opinions and ideas different from my friends and peers. To try new things even if I don’t like them at least I tried. To be good to myself and not always be doing for others.