This year I vowed to start the year learning more about how to become less attached after finding myself in a sad, lonely state of mind. I have read many books on how and why we cling to people and things whether out of FEAR, CONTROL, or CRAVING. We all do it whether we are aware of it or not. Some of us are attached to jobs, some peoples approval, some a substance, some a hobby or sport, some our kids, some not feeling, some feeling too much. I try to keep myself in balance but when I swing into the attached, clinging form of myself it doesn’t feel good and I usually experience pain.
I had a close friend detach herself this earlier this year due to many circumstances beyond my control but instead of accepting her and it as is. I feel rejected, lost, left explaining things to my kids and left feeling disturbed and uneasy. So I am digging deeper and in my soul search today I watched this meditation. She is very unattached and lives her life that way. I live mine in more of a relationship centered, put others before myself way. So when someone detaches I feel vulnerable, raw, confused, rejected. We are different, neither of us is right or wrong but we come to life with our own experiences that makes us unique.
“We have a tendency that in order to be spiritual we have to be free of all attachment. Often we bury our attachment feelings instead of releasing it. If we are trying to avoid attachment by resisting it we suffer. But by resisting and struggling we create more suffering. ” (video below) We need to understand our attachments. We need to observe and understand FEAR and desire about attachment. When we experience an emotion we often only are feeling the underlying emotions that we often are completely unaware of. They can often come from a past experience-for me early childhood where I often felt misunderstood and forgotten in my family and amongst friends. Even at 41 I sometimes still feel this way but feelings are not facts. I love how this guy says we live often in an illusion of how things are supposed to be or how we thought they would always be then they change and we are shaken and caught off guard. So one day at a time I will try to let people be who they are and try with baby steps to live less attached.