The left out syndrome

Does anyone else out there in recovery ever still feel like they are 10 and being left out of the circle from the cool kids?  Social media has that sort of effect on me, one week I like it the next I’m like why didn’t I get to go on that fun girls weekend or how come my kid didn’t go to that party or their marriage looks perfect or every thing everyone posts seems to hit me the wrong way.  Then I need a purge.  I am feeling overly sensitive which can be triggered from a number of things-hormones, change, not being included in social things and feeling apart from.  My brain which unfortunately is always telling me things that may not be accurate is prepared for constant battle -It is So loud!!!  I try to meditate and remind myself that things are not always as they seem and everyone’s facebook life isn’t perfect but tonight I am feeling lonely why?  Not sure maybe because I haven’t been taking enough self-care, or maybe because the holidays are approaching and my family isn’t perfect which brings up a whole slew of emotions.   We don’t always get together, our family is complicated and messy some work holidays, some don’t speak, some are a pain in the ass, some are self centered and think everyone should come to them.  So as I head into the holidays I have to put a new set of glasses on the one’s that protect me and my heart and remind me if someone doesn’t invite you to something who cares it isn’t a reflection of you maybe you have nothing in common or maybe they feel the same way so go have a girls night with someone who does want to see you or just hang with the kids and hubby and make cookies.  The holidays are what we make them to be afterall right?  It still is my absolutely favorite time of the year!

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