I remember my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous I was scared, ashamed and lost. I didn’t know what was happening to me and why I couldn’t just have 1 when I told myself tonight it was truly only going to be 1 drink. At that first meeting I was handed the big book and given a lot of hugs. I was told don’t compare your story to mine and it doesn’t matter how old you are it matters what happens when you ingest alcohol. It opened a door to a life I never knew existed.
Did I stop drinking forever on that day? No. I wish it was that easy. It took me many white chips to put together a year and by the grace of god I have never since picked up. I have at times still wanted a drink and often acted like I was still drinking because of loss of sleep. I have even craved it during stressful times or when I realized I had undealt with resentments or anger swirling around. I’m an addict it can be shopping, facebook, coffee, it doesn’t really matter I have to constantly be careful how much of anything I am filling my mind and body with.
So today I sat next to a newcomer at a meeting, she was crying and it brought me back to my first meeting. I did not want to give up my best friend-alcohol. But you all told me one day at a time I may changed my mind and choose to live a different way of life. SO this morning I hugged this sweet lady and explained I too was where you are, it gets better, one day at a time.