In Lysa Terkuersts book Unglued. One of her chapters really struck a cord. It talks about the different communication styles in life and how we all fall into one or multiple categories in different situations and how we handle ourselves really speaks volumes about our spiritual level. At the beginning of the school year I had a situation in which I could have been a exploder but I went to great lengths to not overreact. I thought through the drama of the scene and would I want to be the mom yelling or the mom quietly trying to maintain composure. So I took the high road. Did it turn out all peaches and roses? No because although we react one way others may collect-retaliation rocks or distance themselves or start gossiping about us or many other ways to try to shame us and teach us a lesson. I used to be a stuffer-just take it and hide your feelings this was horrible for me. So in recent years I started speaking up for myself telling people my truest self even the deep down stuff that makes me vulnerable, naked and possibly intense. But I learned if I hide who I really am then I am still operating under a lot of EGO. The ego can shame me or build me up to much it swings both ways. But the place I need to stay is the middle. So when the pain comes because the person you thought was more than an acquaintance now treats you different. They say they are busy when they weren’t before. They used to make chit chat and now don’t. I remind myself they can act that way but that is not the mom or image I want to be. I don’t want my kids to see the way I work through conflict being cut people out or judge them or make them feel forgotten or neglected. I want them to see forgiveness and even arguments if need be with a resolution. This is after all healthy communication. We are not going to get along all of the time but we can afterall still have respect for one another and treat eachother with it.
https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=unglues&tag=mh0b-20&index=aps&hvadid=77721782912344&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_45pao0fv08_e
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