I realized recently that I have spent most of my life trying to be this person who I may not be at all. I tried bending myself into a pretzel to do the right things in hopes we would be friends or you would approve of me or any number of reasons. Recently, I have put down that people pleasing behavior and started owning who I am. I will not apologize for being me, authentically wonderful, God loving, generous, kind and sometimes very persistent. If people think I am too much that’s ok. My beat will still drum on and I will be ok. If people shock me by their reactions I do not have to take it in and make me feel bad about myself I can let it go and remember it has nothing to do with me. I used to stamp myself with a label in my mind ” No good. There you go again upsetting someone. You are too much. What they say is the truth. I would speak negatively to myself daily because of other peoples reactions. Now I see that negative self talk as what it is evil and lack of self worth. The true honest to goodness me knows my worth and value is found in God not peoples opinions. However, living with other humans and coexisting daily with many different interactions can be very hard for sensitive soul. I want to be liked, I want to be understood I do not want people to say mean things that hurt my heart but that isn’t life. So I process my interactions differently now. I pause and only absorb what I need to. I travel lighter and am reminded we are all learning life lessons daily but not at the same time.
“When I started to realize I lived my entire life to please everyone around me, I woke up knowing I knew nothing about myself. That is the day I took control or my own thoughts, opinions and dreams. True self, live for you. ” @everything aligns
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