I realized recently that I have spent most of my life trying to be this person who I may not be at all. I tried bending myself into a pretzel to do the right things in hopes we would be friends or you would approve of me or any number of reasons. Recently, I have put down that people pleasing behavior and started owning who I am. I will not apologize for being me, authentically wonderful, God loving, generous, kind and sometimes very persistent. If people think I am too much that’s ok. My beat will still drum on and I will be ok. If people shock me by their reactions I do not have to take it in and make me feel bad about myself I can let it go and remember it has nothing to do with me. I used to stamp myself with a label in my mind ” No good. There you go again upsetting someone. You are too much. What they say is the truth. I would speak negatively to myself daily because of other peoples reactions. Now I see that negative self talk as what it is evil and lack of self worth. The true honest to goodness me knows my worth and value is found in God not peoples opinions. However, living with other humans and coexisting daily with many different interactions can be very hard for sensitive soul. I want to be liked, I want to be understood I do not want people to say mean things that hurt my heart but that isn’t life. So I process my interactions differently now. I pause and only absorb what I need to. I travel lighter and am reminded we are all learning life lessons daily but not at the same time.
“When I started to realize I lived my entire life to please everyone around me, I woke up knowing I knew nothing about myself. That is the day I took control or my own thoughts, opinions and dreams. True self, live for you. ” @everything aligns
Hi Rebecca,
I hope you are well. I found you on the Boss Girl Bloggers Facebook group. I’m sorrry it has taken so long to get around to messaging!
I run the Radical Self Love Collective, and am looking to feature bloggers – to build a self-love hub for, and by, our members.
With gratitude,
N I K K I K E N D A L L
radicalselflovecollective.com
Nikki-
Thank you so much for supporting me I will support you as well. Sobriety soul sisters! I have learned a lot this year. I finally started speaking up for myself and that feels great. I emailed a few posts over to you. Please reach out if you have any questions! God bless, Becky
I relate to this deeply. I’ve also been on a sober path and it has helped me realize how much of what I do is dependent on what other people thing. And I’m not down for that anymore. Encouraging to see others doing the same. Keep at it, love– it’s inspiring to read about and I’m rooting for you!
Lovely. It’s an amazing thing to have your insides match the outsides.
Bending yourself like a pretzel sounds very uncomfortable. I’m glad that you are no longer living your life trying to please others. That gets us nowhere fast. We all need to go thru life being the best person we can be for OURSELVES and nobody else. Thanks for sharing Becky!
I liked this a lot, I think so many of us wake up one day realizing that we could be so much more by simply being ourselves. Easier said than done, especially when you’re just recently discovering your true self. I wish you all the best and success in your journey x
Ida I shared your article and site and loved it I’d appreciate you doing the same. http://www.soberfemale.com. Yes, I finally tell people how I feel if they don’t like me anymore so be it. I have to be me!
Loved this article! I am also on a journey to stop pleasing others, it is so liberating to live your live for yourself. I recently wrote an article about detoxing from social media which really helped me stop seeking approval from others.
https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/yet2bedetermined.wordpress.com/82
Thank you so much for coming to my site soon I will have a newsletter. I swear one day I don’t care about peoples opinions the next I do. It is all a balance.
I’d really like to acknowledge you for the work you’re putting into yourself and the changes you’re creating. Such a powerful read!
Thank you Sarah I appreciate you coming to my site. Please share with others.
Sincerely,
Becky
Being yourself is so important.