Feeling 13 at 41 …yes at times


I just re-read a book called “Uninvited” by Lysa Terkeurst it has quickly become a lifechanger and powerful soul growth book for me.  Each time I have read this book, a new part jumps out at me. I have learned much about myself this year.  I often waste time on the wrong friends.  I am drawn to the unavailable, the ones who often “Squeeze” me in.  I have a whole slew of other amazing friends but yet I spend precious mind and soul energy trying to figure out the why of the one who treated me poorly or met my kindness as control or repeatedly were late and left me feeling unimportant.  This verse jumped out today “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27 NASB)



I have learned a lot this year #1 Often the people who show up aren’t the ones you thought would.  #2 People and relationships change #3 You are allowed to tell people they hurt you and you are not responsible for their reaction to it but it may mean friendships disappear and that’s ok or eventually it will be #4 I am not the same person I was 6 months ago, I know longer will bend over backwards for people who cannot even pick up the phone-tough lesson #5 We attract people who trigger the areas we need to grow the most-Ugh!  Sometimes people do not know how to just have a conversation and instead take the quick exit route which in todays world of many options to communicate seems so heartless and inconsiderate but nonetheless it happens.  Feelings are hurt, years of building a loyal friendship falls to pieces because of pride or ego.  I am not the person who cannot say I am sorry often I take on all the pain and mistakes for everyone.  Then when things don’t just go back to normal I feel guilty and sad for a lot longer than I should.  I do believe this is called co-dependency.  When my self-worth and spirits are up I don’t act needy but a few months of inconsistent rest and bam often I get tipped over.  Why is it some people accept and forgive minor irritations and love you unconditionally and others throw in the towel.  This page below sums up me exactly!


1 Comment

  1. Your post spoke to a lot of what I deal with. I feel like I am the friend that is always there but I am also the friend that is left hanging waiting for the same treatment. The last few days I have found myself not wanting to be bothered because my friends can’t let me down if I don’t let them in.

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