God’s will not yours

For years I was a sober mom who worked in healthcare. That was a huge part of my identity and who I was. I left my job in February because I was over the commute and missed having co-workers. It was kind of a solo gig. What I learned is maybe job’s are good for those of us with anxiety and in recovery. My brain is my worst enemy with too much time. So I am in limbo right now. Part of me wants to write a book but then my brain says “there are so many other books written by sober women.” Part of me wants to do interior design but that same brain says “then you need to take classes and what if no one hires you?” So then I get stuck twirling or spinning in circles. When I get stuck I sort of spin out I get worried about everything and nothing all together. So I reached out to someone I know who runs her own business and asked if I could help. Wouldn’t you know she said yes and I had the most fun I have had in awhile. I’m kind of in amid life rut not sure which direction to go but not content with where I am. I do know I love being around people. I love my girls and being with them but I also know I need to be of service and it feels good to make money too. It doesn’t have to be a lot but to know you did a good job is a nice feeling. To sit idle causes a lack of structure for me and then everything gets jumbled together. Don’t get me wrong I am full of gratitude that I have the opportunity to pause. One day I will blink and have grown girls. I never want to feel like I wasn’t there enough. They are awesome humans!

SO I guess if you pray and wait God will put the job or next step in your path.

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